I know I’m not alone.
In the relief. In the release of overindulgence. In the inability to control. In the recklessness.
I know I’m not alone.
In the idea of always wanting. In the chase of familiar endorphins, coursing through my body. In the focus of short-term gain, and the ignorance of future consequence.
I know I’m not alone.
In self sabotage. In the creation of an imagined self, based on an illusive construction of material losing appeal after a moments touch. In a fear of future I have created for myself as consequence of my detached sense of relief.
I know I’m not alone.
In a self-made curse. In a life built on credit. In a routine of self-southing. In a false sense of control with the click of a button. In a cyclical habit that hurts to break.
I know I’m not alone. But it doesn’t make it any easier.
This world is built on the base of capitalism focused on taking from you what you need and giving in return what you don’t. I’m tangled up in it all, knowingly to a fault. Though it may not own me, I feel I do not own myself. And if not me, then who?
It’s easier to keep moving forward with complacency, until each penny falls clean to the floor of this system and the false world of credit demands penance. But no more will I fall victim to myself. For happiness does not lie in the inanimate. It lies within my breath and that of those I love. With nothing but love I can remain content. With only materials, I remain mentally strained and with my purpose unknown. I must focus on life’s real gifts and live with those that exist without the expectation of something in return.